I've been having all sorts of angst this past week about how I'm going to be going back to med school soon, and how this means I will see a lot less of the Pickle. And how this will continue for several months.
And then I will be a resident for (at least) 3 years, and it will be even worse.
:-P
It's quite upsetting.
I've also been angsting about where we're going to send Dylan to school. We live in an utterly crappy school district, and even if we moved to the "good" district three blocks away, we would not be guaranteed a spot at the local public school. Our options are to try for a Charter school (also not guaranteed), to send her to private school, or to move to the suburbs.
They are all good options, thank god, but stressful to consider. The last two options are also pretty expensive.
Private school is 20K per year for 9 months, so we'd still have to pay for some sort of camp over the summer, and also probably an au pair also to do pick ups. You also have to start them there the first year they offer it, which is PRE-FREAKING-K (whatever happened to normal school that starts at kindergarten??). So we'd be looking at applying for that in 2.5 years.
Moving to the suburbs is also an option.... but we would end up having to buy a more expensive house (because houses are more expensive there) and would pay about 4-5x as much in property taxes (though admittedly, our property taxes here are scheduled to triple over the next several years and it's not as though the school is going to stop sucking). If we end up with multiple children that is probably our only real choice.
The Charter schools are supposed to be decent, though I've yet to hear anything from a parent that didn't sound like them trying to reassure themselves that they made the right choice, and as I said it's not a guarantee either.
This morning I was awake at 4AM angsting about this, and then I reminded myself: I can quit at any time. I don't have to do ANY of this. If I wanted I could be a SAHM and have three more kids (ok, maybe not three, but more anyway). We could move to the suburbs. Or we could stay in Philly and I could even homeschool the kiddos. OR I could take an easy job like the one I had before med school and work 9-5. I don't actually want to do either of those things... but thinking about it really did make me feel better about finishing my training to become a doctor, even if it is going to be really onerous. It is a relief to have choices.
(MD-PhD is NOT a good investment, but never included in this calculation are the psychological benefits of not having debt, which apparently for me are substantial.)
More on the school stuff
Parents were actually lining up at 8AM yesterday morning to enroll
their children in kindergarten at the good public elementary school on TUESDAY. They were eventually
disbanded, and the school has decided to conduct a lottery to figure out
who can attend instead, which is probably more fair since not everyone can take 5 days out of their lives to wait outside in line in the middle of January.
I would have been pissed if I were a parent trying to send my kid there next year though. A lottery more or less removes any control one might have over whether your little tyke gets to go to a good school or a shitty one. Application deadlines for most private schools have passed (I think), and since you're much less likely to get your child in if you apply in 1st grade, you could be screwed on that front as well. Charter school applications were due in last fall, and I'm pretty sure that deadline is passed too. So what will these parents do (other than the obvious) to educate their kids next year? I mean, they could move to the 'burbs too, but with the housing market as it is.... and a lot of them don't have a lot of money lying around to do something like that I'd imagine.
Part of me fantasizes that they will all send their kids to the shitty school in our district, which is the default. It would make that school suck less, and increase our property values. I'm not optimistic about this though. I suspect it will just cause people to move away and depress property values everywhere.
Add to that, many of these people paid a 100K premium for their house to live in that school district. This decision by the school district to do a lottery (and also not having enough spots in the first place), is going to devalue their properties, who knows by how much.
(Though it does make me glad that we didn't decide to buy there...)
Well, you don't have to start your kid in preK at all the private schools. My kids go to a private school in the 'burbs - there's really not a problem starting in K, and in fact the past few years most of the local schools (Main Line area) are pretty much welcoming kids in any of the lower school grades... you know, this is a buyer's market for private school, as it were.... Just saying. But even in a better economy - it was usually ok to start in K or in 3. The "classic" entry grades are PK, K, 3, 6, 9 in my experience. But you could call and talk to some admissions people if you're seriously thinking about this option. Couldn't hurt. Well, except for the wallet pain.
ReplyDeleteGood to know. When we get closer to that age, I think we probably will try to talk to some admissions people also. Thanks so much for this information!
Delete(And a-freaking-men to the pain in the wallet!)
I angst over the same stuff, and we have less time to figure it out. I am also glad we didn't buy in that catchment, even though lots of people were trying to persuade us to. I have coworkers that are (rightfully) extremely upset about the situation. I didn't know that about private schools (is it really true?)---I'll have to start looking into it, because I've considered a couple of years of private school for B (unless our situations markedly change, we cannot afford two kids in private) to delay the suburbs.
ReplyDeleteI love LOVE your attitude about choice, though. Yes it is absolutely a choice. And we are indeed pretty damn lucky to be able to make these choices for ourselves and for our families. That being said, SAHM homeschooling. Absolutely not a choice I would make for myself!
I don't know whether the private school thing is true, however I do plan to call admissions people in a year or two to find out. If webhillizzy is right, then things might be somewhat more flexible than they used to be (yay recession?). I think there are a number of reputable private elementary schools near where you live, so I'm sure you'll be able to find a solution that will enable you to delay the move to the 'burbs if you choose to do so.
DeleteAs for SAHM homeschooling -- LOL!!! I could barely keep up with Dyls for ONE DAY (yesterday) with her newfound walking skilz. I can't imagine how exhausted I would be if I had to stay at home and homeschool her!
I know what you mean about choice being so liberating. When I was working full-time I would remind myself that if it got awful, I could walk away. And I did eventually. And I've come back part-time, but it greatly reduced my anxiety to do the thought experiment of - we'd be ok without me working and without my income. And we were for 2 years. It's tough, and there's never a perfect answer, just the best answer for your family at the time.
ReplyDeleteAnything is possible, but it usually takes more money. When I was young my parents fled to the 'burbs primarily for the schools. At least that's what they told us.
ReplyDeleteEducation is no exception to the rule: you get what you pay for.
DeleteI always think about how much I would have missed my kids if I were in residency-- :( 4th year of med school won't be so bad, though, other than a couple rotations. Sharing your pain on the schools...and it's not all smooth sailing in the burbs either. We live _across the street_ from our elementary school, and so I was pretty surprised to hear that there's still a lottery of sorts. My neighbors assured me that it's not so bad, we're practically guaranteed a spot if we're in the official catchment area, but still. The idea that we're so close and not 100% sure my kids will go there? When the whole point is to not have to worry about school drop-offs and pick-ups? Argh.
ReplyDelete