Since "graduating" to young toddler, Dylan has attended a grand total of 10 days. Four days the first week (due to presidents day), 2 days the second week (due to strep), and so far 2 days this week including today (due to vomiting). But, last I saw she was developing a rash on her legs this AM, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if we ended up missing more school this week.
Other changes to her routine include [au pair], my parents visiting last week, and changes to my schedule, though I have been able to see a lot of her lately due to her being sick all the time!
So I am wondering.... every time we drop her off at daycare she starts to cry as soon as she realizes that we're going to her new classroom. The crying continues as we drop her off. And often when I pick her up in the afternoon, she is crying then as well.
I guess you could say the transition is not going smoothly.
The daycare offered the not terribly helpful (unsolicited) suggestion of having the same person drop her off / pick her up always. Which.... starting next week that's what we'll be doing. In the meantime they wanted me to wait in the car while [au pair] came into the center with Dyls. They said we were "confusing" her, and that is why she was having so much trouble with the transition.
I thought this was a little ridiculous.My interpretation is that she's had a lot of changes foisted on her recently, and has found this stressful. But we just need to give things a chance to work out and start to go more smoothly. She should get used to her new routine when she finally actually gets to do it. You know, when she's not sick every other day.
Still in the meantime, it's really upsetting for me to watch, and part of me worries that this new classroom is just a really poor fit. That she's too young. That she feels overwhelmed by all the older children. Thankfully the nap problem seems to have resolved, but why are we having so many other problems now??? Why can't things just get better?
On the drive home this am, [au pair] suggested reducing her to 3 days per week from 5 at the daycare. She said that she would take care of her at home those days. And I gotta tell you, it's really tempting. The only problem is that Luca would have to alter his work schedule slightly on those days. He has suggested that he would be willing to do this in the past, but now that I'm actually asking him to, I get resistance. This is incredibly frustrating to me.
Anyway, do you have any thoughts about this? I do want to give the daycare a bit more of a chance for Dyls to get used to it, but I also don't want to continue sending her to a place that is (at least seems to be) not working for her.
I will offer the old standby that likely "this too shall pass." We had several such episodes with B, where I seriously considered (and researched) alternative options for child care or scheduling and suddenly he was fine. I agree with you that she's had a lot of change recently, on top of the illnesses, and she needs some time to simply adjust to everything. Right after one year was a rough time, if I recall. He screamed getting baths, he started screaming at bedtime, stopped eating dinner, etc... It was winter, with all the requisite illnesses, his naps were changed, he was in a new room, etc... By the spring, all was well.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if you really are uncomfortable with the daycare, and you have other options, you don't necessarily have to wait. (so basically, I don't know, but it might go away soon)
Yeah, it's gone away each time I've had reservations in the past. I think we'll reassess in a few weeks.
DeleteJust wrote a whole long thing that got erased basically saying, yes...its a lot of change...she will probably adjust once she has a week or so of consistency.
ReplyDeleteWe switched my son's day care when he was about 1 year old and for the first month he didn't eat anything at daycare and barely took a bottle he ate well at home. He's small already so this was very stressful for us. After 3-4 weeks of this he started eating some solids there and now he loves the new place and eats and acts normally. He wasn't really sick during the adjustment month. So as much as this suck with D being miserable, it may be normal adjustment that'll pass with time.
ReplyDeleteIf the room is a poor fit and it's not illness that's causing her inability to adjust, going to 3 days a week seems like a short term solution since she'll still be in a place for which she's poorly suited for 3 days. Do you think that as she gets older it'll be a better fit? Additionally, find out if the day care is flexible about days when she's part time (ie if she normally goes M-W but is sick M can she go Tu-Th that week?). Only some day cares allow you to do this so on weeks that she's sick you may have less flexibility with the au pair's time since I know there's an hourly max each week (are you even near that now?).
I doubt our daycare would let us do that. We're not currently near her limit, but would be if D stayed home 2 days a week. It's something my husband (hint hint) has to figure out, since he'd be the one staying home if this happened.
DeleteYou already know what is wrong - lots of change and illness are stressing her out. You also know that things will settle down soon. Maybe having the same person do drop off & pick up will make a difference, tho' it sounds kinda like a BS suggestion if you weren't going to do it already next week. Give it a couple of weeks once you get into a new routine, once she's healthier and settled in with [au pair]. My suggestion: set a date to check in on it again and don't think about changing her situation until after that date. You just tear your own heart out with doubt otherwise. Dyls will be fine, she's loved and well cared for and everything is going to be ok.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it's most likely all the changes and being sick. I think you're right that a week or two of not being sick with consistent daycare each day, she'll improve! I'm confused, though.. how come Luca would have to stay home more if Dylan stays with the au pair? Isn't the idea that the au pair can watch her without one of you there? (Sorry if this is a dense question.)
ReplyDeleteShe's technically only permitted to work 10h per day.
DeleteShe's probably also missing the old classroom caretakers as well. For her, they've looked after her her whole life at school, now they are gone. She's missing them (even if you couldn't stand them).
ReplyDeleteYes, she is totally missing them too. She cries whenever she is taken away from them as well.
DeleteSo sad. It will get better. But even my 5 year old in kindergarten gets a bit sad when visiting with his old daycare. He spent more of his waking hours with them not me. But, it does get a lot better - in like a year.
DeleteIt will really get better - in about a year. In our daycare the transfer from 1 classroom to the next was really hard every year. It just became a shorter duration of sadness.
DeleteSo sad. It will get better. But even my 5 year old in kindergarten gets a bit sad when visiting with his old daycare. He spent more of his waking hours with them not me. But, it does get a lot better - in like a year.
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